Sometimes it is personal

I used to tell people: “If someone buys something from you, it’s because they understand the value of your product or service and they like you. (I know they don’t always have to like you to buy from you.) If they don’t buy, it’s not personal; they just don’t understand the value of your offering yet.”

I try to make a habit of admitting when I’m wrong. I admit it. I was very wrong. I have determined there might be times when I like someone’s product, but I can’t stand them or their approach, so I will NEVER buy from them unless I am desperate!

I know that sounds harsh, but it boils down to respect. If you don’t respect me, my time or my intelligence, why should I pay you?

I recently attended a sales seminar where people didn’t understand what networking is all about. They thought if I said hello, they were supposed to try to sell me something whether I was interested or not. I mentioned this type of personality in a recent blog about stalkers. The aggressive stalkers at this event made me so angry that it took me about an hour to calm myself down.

The first scenario where a stalker should be glad I was unarmed

In one case, this guy walked up to me and started asking questions about my family, stopping only long enough to hear my answer so he could move on to the next qualifying question. He didn’t let me ask questions. He just went straight into his pitch for a $500 weekend-long family whitewater rafting trip.

If he would have slowed down, he would have learned I like whitewater rafting, but that I have a pregnant wife who is not going to be on a raft anytime soon, and that we probably wouldn’t put our kids on whitewater for a couple more years. But I have access to a number of people who might be interested in going together as a group – which could have netted the guy a much larger sale.

What I would have said if it weren’t socially unacceptable
I am known as one of the most laid back people around. Other than my family and a few close friends, most people have never seen me angry. But that doesn’t mean I am not thinking things like: “Look, moron! I like the idea of your trip, but there is no way I would ever buy anything from you or your company. I would search out your competitors and pay double before I would buy from you or refer anyone I know to you – because you would probably treat them the same way you treated me. ROOKIE!!”

The second time I almost became a networking vigilante

Later the same day, I was engaged in a conversation with two gentlemen trying to understand more about them and their businesses. A woman walked up, interrupted our conversation and asked if any of us were from a nearby city. One of the men said yes, launching this woman into a 10-minute pitch about real estate investing. None of the three of us were interested. In fact, I think one of the men was a competitor of hers. None of us were going to buy from her but she didn’t notice, because she wasn’t paying attention to our body language. Both of the other gentlemen’s eyes had rolled way back in their heads.

I had to cut her off at the 10-minute mark. She inhaled, so I saw my opportunity to ask one of the guys what he did for a living. She walked away. I hate to do that to people, but I didn’t think she would “get it” any other way. But she still didn’t get it. She just left to get brochures to give to the three of us.

I couldn’t smack her or tell her what I really thought

If I could have told her what I thought, it would have sounded something like: “You are on minute 9 and we stopped paying attention in minute 3. Can’t you see no one is interested? Go away!! You have ruined the chance that you or anyone in your company will make a sale today! Even if we were interested, that interest would have waned 5 minutes ago. Did I mention we want you to go away?”

Respect the people you are networking with

Like I said, I just want to be respected. All of your prospects (and non-prospects) feel that way. Respect their time by finding out enough about them to see if what you are discussing is interesting in the first place. If they are interested, don’t use tired techniques to try to coerce them into buying something from you on the spot. If you are in a networking environment, people came to network, not to shop. If your offering is so compelling that people decide they have to buy it right away, let them. But in most cases, your best bet is to schedule some time to have a proper conversation when they are in a buying frame of mind.

If you ignore this advice, it is highly probable that the reason they don’t buy from you (or they run when they see you coming) is not that they don’t understand your offering. It’s personal.